I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when that night you picked your nose in your car. And I saw you carve your initials into my father. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that I get turned on only by my the garbage man. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your neighbor's dog as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and I have a passionate interest for mice.
Please don't hurt me,
How To Do This:
Dear (choose a random person),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you